Terrible’s Primm Valley Resort and Casino review

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Terrible’s Primm Valley Resort and Casino review

31900 Las Vegas Blvd S.
Primm, NV 89019-7002
(702) 386-7867

I recently attended an ATA Tournament in Primm, NV, and after reading all the reviews on the web I made the easy decision to stay in Vegas and just make the short drive to Primm for the tournament, because the reviews of all your options for both food and lodging are indeed terrible. And as it turns out, they are all correct. But a last minute schedule change for both a Friday Night and Saturday Morning events persuaded me to just stay in Primm and save the extra commute time. That was a terrible mistake.

All the terrible things you are reading all over the web about all of the Terrible’s property’s in Primm, NV are absolutely true, if not completely understated. But like you, perhaps, I thought that nothing could be that terrible and still be in business. Turns out, it can!

Check-in at the Primm Valley Casino and Resort was typical of all Vegas area casinos. You’ll have to walk through and then stand in line in a smoke filled casino. And while I know that the smoke isn’t going to be an issue for most casino goers, I’m traveling with two young athletes that are pursuing a world championship and they just don’t need the smoke in their lungs. And frankly, I hate the smoke too. So I was thrilled to find an automated check-in kiosk just to the left of the long line, and no one was using it!

Terrible's Primm Valley Resort and Casino Room
Terrible’s Primm Valley Resort and Casino Room

The check-in via the kiosk was fast and easy and even allowed my to select the number of keys that I wanted (up to two). And as I walked through the casino towards my room I thought just briefly that the reviews might of been wrong. But they weren’t.

Upon arrival in our room we found if in complete disarray. I was so flabbergasted by the condition that I didn’t even think to take a picture! The beds were un-made and pulled away from the wall, the headboards were removed from the wall and leaning on the beds, and the makeup bag and prescription medicine bottle of the previous occupants were laying on the bed.

So back to the casino we went, and this time we had to stand in the long line to get human help. Our human wasn’t really the happy type, but she did her job and got us a new room. This one was clean and prepared to what I imagine to be Terrible’s mediocre standards. Like your average “budget motel”, this room was short on electrical outlets, and at least one of them was badly damaged – what a firefighter might just call a fire and/or shock hazard. Meanwhile, my daughter found a hole in the wall. Seriously, a hole in the drywall. But it was only on our side of the wall so we decided to just stay with this room and vowed never to return.

The pool at Primm Valley Resort and Casino was both large and clean. And the hot tub was totally hot. Both were properly chlorinated so as to not burn or smell of chlorine. The poolside life guards and employees had us outnumbered, and that’s pretty much a good thing. And they were surprisingly social, particularly in light of our experience inside just about 30 minutes previous. The fountain in the pool was either broken or turned off, and while I certainly would have enjoyed seeing it on, it really didn’t take much away from the experience. The only place the pool really fell short was with the towels. Those things were the scratchiest, flattest, least absorbent towels I’ve ever encountered. Truly, they sucked. They need new towels, and they need to take better care of them in the laundry. But they were in abundance, and there were plenty of employees available to make sure they weren’t going to run out of them.

The reviews that I’ve read on the three buffets at the three casinos probably aren’t written strongly enough. To say that they are overpriced crap would be an understatement. We tried “Miss Ashley’s Boarding House Buffet” and found it to be the worst meal I’ve even tried to eat. And that’s after 4-years of Naval Service, including 2 meals in the Navy that gave me food poisoning. Yeah, that bad. All the food is straight out of a can and simply reheated. All of it sucked. And for four of us it cost us nearly $60 to be completely disappointed. On a lighter note, it mostly ruined my appetite. Friends of ours traveling to the same tournament chose “The Greens Valley Buffet” at the Primm Resort and Casino with pretty much the same results. In short, the best food in Primm can be found at the likes of McDonald’s, Carl’s Jr. and the food court in the outlet mall. But really, you shouldn’t even be here. Just take that extra 34 miles and find a place in Vegas. Anything you find in Vegas is going to be better.

The entire facility, much like the room, is in a state of disrepair. Doors hanging off-axis so that the overlap each other, requiring the “top door” to be opened first. And because they were hanging off-axis, they were also heavy and noisy. I also noticed electrical fixtures just hanging down from the ceiling, entirely exposed, inviting nitwits everywhere to reach up and grab on to what I imagine would be a very shocking experience.

That just leaves a quiet nights sleep in a room no better than a “budget motel”, and a check-out that was both painless and easy via the TV remote. Sadly, if you want a printed copy of your bill you’ll still need to stand in line and wait your turn at the registration desk on the casino floor. I decided I could just do without and get the hell out of Primm!

I’ll never stay at any of the properties in Primm, and my advice to you would be the same. Perhaps I should have taken the “Terrible’s” name at face value and realized that all those negative reviews floating around the web are absolutely true.

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